Therapy? (2 Viewers)

[staphory]

Due to ongoing issues my wife thinks I need therapy. She discussed it with her therapist and that lady agrees. I am not one that sees any way that just talking about my issues with a complete stranger would help in any way. I’m more of an introvert and never feel completely comfortable around people I know well. Trying to discuss personal stuff with a complete stranger would be very stressful for me.
Nevermind the fact that maybe I just need to man up and get over myself.
Anybody got any experience with this sort of thing?

 

[Cage1]

I don't, but I've considered going to one myself recently. Mainly because I'm finding it harder and harder just to focus and I want to see what some possible reasons and remedies are. I think my biggest obstacle is I don't know where to start in terms of referrals or whatever.

Hope you find a satisfactory solution to what you're going through.

 

[antipop]

i was pretty apprehensive about therapy when i went...at that time, it was pretty dire so i stuck it out...turns out, i just needed the right therapist...

the first one was really cool and generally a good dude but i just didn't feel comfortable talking about a lot deep stuff with him...

my second therapist was so good that i never felt like i was talking to a stranger....if i had committed murder she could have gotten me to admit it....i saw her for 10 months in the first year of my sobriety....she had to tell me i didn't need to keep seeing her

you really have to find the right one for you(easier said than done)...so don't just give up if the first one doesn't jive...there is someone out there that speaks your language

most importantly, you have to be patient with therapy...it's a slow and sometimes brutal process but it really works if you can be honest with your therapist

 

[antipop]

also, be aware that many therapists specialize in pretty specific types of trauma or addictions, etc.....be mindful of that when you are searching

 

[SWJJ]

i was pretty apprehensive about therapy when i went...at that time, it was pretty dire so i stuck it out...turns out, i just needed the right therapist...

the first one was really cool and generally a good dude but i just didn't feel comfortable talking about a lot deep stuff with him...

my second therapist was so good that i never felt like i was talking to a stranger....if i had committed murder she could have gotten me to admit it....i saw her for 10 months in the first year of my sobriety....she had to tell me i didn't need to keep seeing her

you really have to find the right one for you(easier said than done)...so don't just give up if the first one doesn't jive...there is someone out there that speaks your language

most importantly, you have to be patient with therapy...it's a slow and sometimes brutal process but it really works if you can be honest with your therapist

My wife is a therapist, and this is the best post antipop has ever made (I know that's not saying lot) but find the right therapist, and be patient.

 

[Madmarsha]

Die to ongoing issues my wife thinks I need therapy. She discussed it with her therapist and that lady agrees. I am not one that sees any way that just talking about my issues with a complete stranger would help in any way. I’m more of an introvert and never feel completely comfortable around people I know well. Trying to discuss personal stuff with a complete stranger would be very stressful for me.
Nevermind the fact that maybe I just need to man up and get over myself.
Anybody got any experience with this sort of thing?

You can't go cos somebody makes you go. Well, you CAN but that mos def won't do you any good. So YOU have to come to the realization that this is something YOU think you need. Do you need it? I mean, probably. I think everyone has something that is probably good to talk to somebody about. Yes, talking about issues with a complete stranger can be helpful.

But like has been said, it has to be the RIGHT person. I'm an introvert myself and very private. I keep a lot of things up there in my head. That isn't good. Sometimes those things just need to get out of my head by saying them. And I don't necessarily think that's supposed to be comfortable. But it does have to be someone you trust. And it's also not a "man up" thing. Going to therapy has got nothing to do with being a man or a woman.

 

[cpg]

I think it's important to mention that therapy isn't for everyone, and is absolutely not a one-size-fits-all remedy. It's also not the only method for enhancing mental health and overall well-being.

A good therapist should treat the patient with an end goal in mind, instead of treating them in perpetuity. The goal of therapy is to help the client alleviate their symptoms, improve their quality of life, and develop the skills needed to maintain their mental health over the long term. Rebound issues occur, but this shouldn't be a lifelong process.

I will say that it's a little concerning that your wife's therapist has indicated to her that you would benefit from therapy without assessing you and relying entirely on third-party information. It's generally unethical for a therapist to treat anyone but his/her patient. It's possible that the therapist was making a general statement, or perhaps the therapist felt there was some concern for your wife's treatment being impeded. Or perhaps your wife has misunderstood. But something about that doesn't pass the initial smell test.

EDIT - I think upon reading my post, I sound like I'm trying to talk you out of therapy, which is definitely not my intention. It can be massively beneficial, and it certainly has been for me. As others have mentioned, the right fit is paramount. Don't be afraid to "shop" for the one that you are most comfortable with.

 

[DCSaints_Fan]

Sadly my therapy didn't end well, and potentially was a factor which lead to my hospitalization. I believe talking about things which aren't fixable only made me dwell on them even more.

But some people do seem to get some benefit from it.

 

[Consigliere]

Die to ongoing issues my wife thinks I need therapy. She discussed it with her therapist and that lady agrees.

If she had discussed it with her astrologer, she would agree you need an astrologer.

If she had discussed it with her lawyer, she would agree you need a lawyer.

Look on the bright side, your situation is better than either of those.

 

[t_rav_82]

Lots of experience here. It’s nothing to be concerned about or worried about imo. Go with an open mind and if it helps great. And if not stop going and it only cost you a little time and a little money. Well worth it for the chance at more peace/happiness/mental health, whatever you want to call it. Mental checkups should be no different than an annual physical. And the stranger part is good as far as I’m concerned. They’re a stranger so tell em everything, who cares what they know. They don’t hang out in your circle.

 

[sonicboom]

Yeah, to many unknowns to even attempt to answer in a round about way.

I will say this though, talking to people who you think are wise, might help shed some light on a situation. So, if you don't feel like talking to a "shrink", then maybe a good friend who you trust, or going on a far away vacation, will give a different perspective.

I remember a Rabbi said, I don't do marriage counseling. I then said, can I come visit you, and just complain about my marriage, even though I'm not married?!?! lol Would of been so fun.

Anyways, something to consider....Psychologist are paid, when you come for a visit, so what actual benefit, would a therapist get, if he/she actually helped you to get passed a situation?!?! Just me thinking out loud here. If the Psychologist is just getting paid to listen, then maybe there is a better option out there, but if the therapist/counselor actually helped you over come a mental condition, and are no longer in need of their services, excellent.

I remember the first day of Psychology class, the book said, anyone can be a Psychologist, but not everyone can get paid to be a Psychologist. (or something close to this)

Everyone has a brain, don't forget that.

 

[nolaspe]

i was pretty apprehensive about therapy when i went...at that time, it was pretty dire so i stuck it out...turns out, i just needed the right therapist...

the first one was really cool and generally a good dude but i just didn't feel comfortable talking about a lot deep stuff with him...

my second therapist was so good that i never felt like i was talking to a stranger....if i had committed murder she could have gotten me to admit it....i saw her for 10 months in the first year of my sobriety....she had to tell me i didn't need to keep seeing her

you really have to find the right one for you(easier said than done)...so don't just give up if the first one doesn't jive...there is someone out there that speaks your language

most importantly, you have to be patient with therapy...it's a slow and sometimes brutal process but it really works if you can be honest with your therapist

What @antipop said. I've gone through a fair share of therapists, and honestly, the last one who I had clicked so well with me, and helped me through some major things leading me to not needing therapy in nearly 3 yrs. Also, keep in mind this very important thing to understand, there is never any shame in asking for mental health help and it won't ever make you a weaker person for seeking it, it makes you a stronger one. I hope that you find the professional who can give you the most help...

 

[BarBar]

If you wife is telling you that you need therapy, that is a warning to you. She isn't happy with you and needs you to get over whatever your issues are for her own happiness. You do care about her happiness, right? Go to therapy. Not her therapist....find your own. There is nothing wrong with it. It doesn't make you weak or anything else except better able to deal with your issues.

 

[saintmdterps]

A therapist is a trained objective listener and observer. Therapy works if you allow it to. Such soul-bearing requires a certain amount time as you build a trust bond with your therapist. It's a process, not an event.

Ongoing therapy here, which is about to lead to me taking some FMLA due mostly to work issues. Problem being the job will not change and I will return to the same corporate BS. My therapist has helped with coping strategies, but when you get to the point that you're unsure if you're doing deep breathing or just sighing your way through the day it's time to hang it up.

One of the biggest hindrances is the stigma many of us feel over mental health issues. I see a podiatrist for my foot which helps immensely. I went to a doctor for an upper respiratory infection which helped immensely. I consulted a minister for grief which helped immensely. I felt no need to hide these things from my friends and coworkers, but mental health issues are different. Society can make us feel "weak" for going to counseling. That could not be further from the truth. It takes a much stronger person to ask for help than to try to grit your teeth through life.

People ask if I'm okay. No I'm not okay, but with help I might be.

Good luck to you. Please let us know how it works out.

 

[staphory]

The trick is finding someone that accepts Tricare. Fewer and fewer do. So much for veterans “benefits “.